The Humpty Dance Digital Underground Aa'it stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style that ya used to. I look funny, but yo I'm makin' money so listen up world I hope you're ready for me. Now gather round, I'm the new fool in town and my sound's laid down by tha Underground. I drink up all the Hennessee ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself. My name is Humpty, pronounced with an umpty. Oh ladies oh how I like to frumpty, and to the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bumpty. I'm steppin' tall y'all and just like Humpty Dumpty you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me. I like to rhyme I like my beef funky. I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy. I'm sick with this. Straight gangsta mack. But sometimes I get ridiculous. I eat up all tha crackers and tha licorace. Hey yo fat girl commere are ya ticklish? Yeah, I called ya fat, look at me I'm skinny. It never stopped me from gettin' busy. I'm a freak. I like the girls with the boom. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee. They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me. I'm still gettin' in tha girls pants and I even got my own dance. (chorus) The Humpty Dance is your chance to do tha hump. Ohh do me baby. Do the Humpty Hump. Ohh ohh do me baby. Do the Humpty Hump. Do ya know what were doin'? Were doin' the Humpty Hump yall. Watch me do the Humpty Hump. Just keep on doin' tha Hump. People say "yo, Humpty you're really funny lookin'" That's aaiit 'cause my body's in motion. You stare, you glare, you try to compare me, but ya can't get near me. I'm on the floor, bein' at the bars and see all the ladies adore me. Oh yes ladies I'm really bein' sincere 'cause in the 69 my Humpty nose will tickle your rear. My nose is big. Uh uh I'm not ashamed, big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid. I'm gettin' laid by the ladies, you know I'm in charge. Note how I'm livin' and my nose is large. I get stupid. I shoot an arrow like cupid. I use a word that don't mean nuttin' like loopded. I sang in Dowhatchalike and if ya missed it. I'm the one that said "just grab 'em in tha biskets". I also told you that I like to bite well yeah, I guess that's obvious I also like to write. All ya have ta do is give Humpty a chance and now I'm gonna do my dance. (chorus) Oh yeah, that's the breaks. Let me get a little of this base groove right here. A dooreaar dooreah dooreaar dooreah. Ah yeah, now I told y'all a little about myself, lemme tell y'all a little about this dance. It's real easy to do, check it out. First I limp to tha sounds like my legs is broken, shakin' and twitchen' kinda like I was smokin' crazy whack funky. People say you look like MC Hammer on crack Humpty. That's aaiit 'cause my body's in motion. It's supposed to look like a fit or a commotion. Anyone can play this game. It's my dance y'all Humpty Hump's my name. No two people will do it the same, ya got it down, when you appear to be in pain. Humpin' funkin' jumpin' gig around shakin' your rump and when a dude or chump ups and points a finger like a stump you tell him to step off I'm doin' the hump. (chorus) (add Puerto Ricans do the Humpty Hump) (add Samoans do the Humpty Hump) Let's get stupid (gimme the music, do the Humpty Hump) And to all the ladies, peace and Humptiness forever. From: "If you lived here, you'd be home now."