I'm My Own Grandpa Guy Lombardo Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed Oh I'm my own grandpa I'm my own granpa It sounds funny I know, But it really is so Oh I'm my own grandpa This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa